I hate you, running. P.S. I love you

Before I start my post about running, may I please take a second to apologize! I meant to blog last week but it just wasn’t happening for me. This past Saturday marked one year that I lost my dad to cancer. It was a rough week for me and I was slightly distracted. Life happens! I am back and ready to roll! A big thank you goes out to my fellow blogger, Stacy, for being so patient with me. 

When I first decided it was time to drop the dreaded baby weight, I started running. I figured it was the quickest way to drop the extra weight. I did not follow any of the various running programs you may find on the internet. I just started running. I stayed in my neighborhood and gradually increased my distance and speed. Once I felt comfortable with the idea of running for a length of time without heaving on the side of the road, I started doing local 5ks. Fast forward a year of running around my neighborhood and I was completing my first half marathon with a good friend of mine. 

Within days of completing my first half, I also signed up for my bootcamp class at my gym. As I mentioned in my first post last week, we do a treadmill work out each Monday. I knew this class ran on the treadmill so I had to give myself a crash course on being comfortable with the treadmill. I was terrified of the treadmill. Even when I got fitted for my first pair of running shoes, I was holding onto the sides of the machine for dear life. I had already been boxing for a while with my trainer and I knew he would not let me hold onto the sides of the treadmill. I do not remember how I got myself to let go of the sides of that machine. I must have blocked it out to protect my memory- kidding (slightly). With fitness comes fear and running on the treadmill is definitely one of my fears that I have conquered. 

I feel like I have a love/hate relationship with running. I love it because I was able to drop that extra baby weight. I loved it because it represented a time when I was able to have ME time. As a mother of young children, it was difficult to get out into the neighborhood to run but I made it a priority for myself. And if I can be honest (vain), I love it because it keeps my body fat low. I also love that it keeps my heart healthy. However, at the same time, I hate running. There are days I come to my boot camp class and have no desire to run. I don’t want to do crazy speed drills or run at a 15% incline. I tore my hip last year and had to stop running. Those few weeks shifted my love for running to hate. I got out of the habit of running regularly. It is very difficult to get back into the mindset of running on a regular basis. I found myself only running on cardio Mondays. After making peace with the treadmill, I was starting to think of it as the dreadmill again. 

Where am I now? I am slowly trying to find my love for running again. First, I have to build up my endurance to run on the treadmill. I can happily zone out and run quite a few miles on the treadmill. However, I have gotten into the bad habit of hopping off for a few seconds throughout my run. I will take a drink, wipe off the sweat or just gasp for air while my trainer yells at me to get back on the dreadmill treadmill. My plan is to run just a couple miles on the treadmill without jumping off. Sounds simple to those that may run on a regular basis but for me, it is the goal for now. So if you belong to my local gym and see me standing on the sides of my treadmill, tell me to get back on the machine! Oh, I thought of one more thing that I love about running- the challenge. Bring it. 



3 thoughts on “I hate you, running. P.S. I love you

  1. Pingback: I Miss Running! | Fit Femmes

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