Dear Jeans, Why Do You Hate Me So Much?!?!

Ok, some of you may hate me while you read this post. I am giving you a fair warning now. I tend to be a brutally honest person. I will take the risk of you hating me because I want to know what other girls are doing in my situation. I know you have to exist!

This past week end I feared I was going never going to wear jeans again. Friday night I ripped my THIRD pair of Express jeans. They were my daily, go to pair- my mom jeans. They ripped in the upper thigh so I could not continue wearing them like I wear the jeans I ripped in the knee. I really hate shopping for jeans. I think I would rather go shopping for a swim suit! Sounds crazy, right? Here is why I hate shopping for jeans: they do NOT fit me. I am short, barely 5’3. If a brand does not carry a petite line of jeans, most likely I can’t wear them. Aside from the length, I have a whole bunch of issues with jeans. Ok, I have three major issues with jeans: my waist, quads and bootie. I have muscular quads, a bubble butt and a small waist. Those three things do not go well with jeans. If I can get a pair of jeans past my quads and butt, I am doing well! However, 9.9 times out of 10, there is a huge gap in the waist. I cannot deal with that gap in the waist. I do not want to give everyone around me a nice view of my undies or said bubble butt.

I decided to go to Facebook with my issue. I am a Sweat Pink ambassador. I asked my fellow ambassadors what kind of jeans they buy. I figured fellow fit girls will have the same problem. Most of the suggestions I was getting were big fails for me. American Eagle? I do not care to buy 2 sizes up so I can get the jeans over my quads, thank you. Gap? They are called Gap for a reason in my case (the huge waist gap). Loft? No. I worked at Loft. I love their clothes but their jeans are no good for me. I could continue but I will save you the time and boredom. I won’t even mention the jeans that were recommended that cost over $200. Tried them all on and they still didn’t fit!

I headed out to the mall the other day and tried on a million pairs of jeans. I was feeling very stabby by the end of the day. Seriously, I tried on well over 60 pairs of jeans in two days. OMG. One of the sales girls attempted to help me at Von Maur. She asked if things were going well. I pathetically said no. She asked if length was an issue (was that a short crack?!). I said yes but then explained my other issues with the jeans- small waist, muscular thighs and big bootie. She responded with, “Well, sounds like a good problem to have.” YES, UNTIL YOU NEED TO FIND JEANS!!!! Move on, polite sales girl, I am starting to freak out!

Then I stumbled upon this label last night:


Luscious and curvy. Of course they said luscious and curvy. I texted Stacy excitedly and said these jeans looked promising! And guess what?!?!?! They fit over my quads and bootie and there is no gap in the waist! YAY! Actually, someone in my Sweat Pink group did suggest these jeans. She feels my pain. They are not perfect because they are super long. Thankfully, in this day and age we have high heels and tailors.

Ok, fit girls! Let me know what jeans you wear if you have curves and a small waist! Just don’t tell me you love American Eagle jeans.

Not breaking up with jeans just yet,



10 thoughts on “Dear Jeans, Why Do You Hate Me So Much?!?!

  1. Have you tried Page Denim? I found a pair at Nordstrom rack. They are still my favorite. You need something with a little stretch for your quads. How about Vigoss? Those are pretty affordable.

    • Yes, stretchy material is my friend. 😉 I have never heard of Page denim but Stacy and I were just talking about needing to go to Nordstrom Rack! I did try Vigoss and it did not work.

  2. Since joining derby lite, I have problems with jeans too! I found a pair of jeans at Marshall’s. They are “17/21 exclusive jeans “. They had a tag that said “butter jeans”. So I tried them and love them. I just end up buying a size bigger, and my hubby complains: those aren’t cute!! Cuz they are baggy in weird places. Lol

  3. I was following that SPA thread. I’m built the same as you and have the same vertically challenging issue as well. I love that brand! I also love Amethyst brand jeans. They’re cut very similar for us fit yet curvy gals and they’re pretty inexpensive, about the same cost as the Wall Flower jeans. It’s funny you posted about this because I just posted about my meltdown over ripping my last well fitting pair of jeans and the complete horror that is jean shopping. Glad you found some you like finally!

  4. Lucky Jeans. (hit Macy’s sales or they do carry some at Costco – curvy/lola’s better)
    As a small waist, big thighs girl….ok, ok, athletic from ice skating, Lucky is my go to. I ended up with Scandinavian legs (long) on an Irish upper body (kids shirts). So I’m very particular on where things hit on my waist – get away from my rib cage!!!!

    They have very little stretch. If they stretch too much, I’m afraid someone will pants me. Still end up tugging at the waist a bit, but they aren’t showing a plumbers crack! As far as dress pants, White House Black Market. I can’t wear scrubs to work. Damn drawstrings have to be double knotted, and with patient schedule, sometimes I don’t get to pee for 4 hours. So it’s dress pants for work.

    • I am sure you have athletic legs from skating! I am in the roller derby world so I get it! A lot of girls are all of a sudden posting about Lucky on my Facebook page. I am going to have to try them out for sure!

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